Every year, many, many stupid people graduate from college. And if they can do it, so can you.
–John Green
I understand that it is graduation season in the United States. Thousands of college graduates will be released into the wild, clutching what they believe is a valuable piece of paper that will help them ditch the student loans they’re saddled with.
In the latest segment of The Daily Show, comedian Jon Stewart offers some irreverent advice to these college graduates, styled around the seemingly astounding success of President Donald Trump. You can skip to the advice in the following YouTube video (starting at 7:39) or watch the whole thing. It’s genuinely funny. I promise!
The comedic premise is that if Trump can do it, why can’t any graduate? If around a third of the American population were convinced by the astonishing genius of Trump and honestly believed that that was what America sorely needed, then who’s to belittle his obvious recipe for success? Jon’s bewilderment (at 6:22) when he asks, “How (the fuck) is this guy our President?” must surely be misplaced. Right?
Wrong! Here’s a reality check…
The corporate thieves Barrons, don’t hire Trumpkins (Trump bumpkins). They don’t hire graduates who constantly remind everyone they’re stable geniuses. They don’t hire graduates who boast about acing cognitive assessment tests. They don’t hire obvious swindlers.
No! The Captains’ Capos of Industry hire graduates they can mould into good capitalist flunkeys. Graduates who can take orders, not take over. Graduates who can build a corporate dynasty that will eventually drive their customers into becoming the voting fodder who will continue to put more Trumps into power. Graduates who will swell the ranks of the current third…
lenny unencumbered 