I remember writing about a hilarious incident back in 2015 in which an armadillo survived several gunshots to come out in better shape than the shooter.
The State of Texas is notorious for its gun lunacy culture. Most Texans supposedly would barely raise an eyebrow when one of their tribe becomes embroiled in a gun-related incident. While this particular incident near Texarkana in 2015 has raised more than a few chuckles everywhere else, one imagines that the hapless shooter got some sympathy from his clan of gun enthusiasts.
Reportedly, around three in the morning, an unidentified gunman tried to shoot an armadillo (who unlike most creatures stomping around the state of Texas at that ungodly hour, was unarmed). No specific reason was given, other than that it had strayed onto his property. Texans, it seems love their land as much as their guns, and trespassing armadillos are apparently fair game. In any event, neither of the three bullets fired from his revolver managed to stop the the poor animal. They apparently glanced right off the the hard shell armadillos are blessed with. However, one bullet ricocheted off the armored shell and took a liking for the shooter’s jaw.
He was subsequently hospitalized with his jaw being wired shut, which must have fortuitously prevented him from saying anything that would have embarrassed him any further. The only remarkable thing about all of this, apart from the armadillo making a clean getaway (fingers crossed, he’s somewhere else, still firing back at other trigger-happy Texans), is that this story went viral on Twitter (or X if you actually care to acknowledge it) two years later. You can read about it here.
At this point I must confess that the armadillo shooting has little, or nothing in common with the other objective of this essay. It’s about a band and a song. For some strange reason I was reminded of the blues song La Grange by the band ZZ Top when I read about this shooting incident. The contrast between musical genius worthy of reverence and the foolishness of gun-worship made an unlikely connection in my weird brain.
La Grange was released as a single off the album Tres Hombres in 1973. It’s about a brothel near La Grange in Texas which was immortalized in the Broadway play and film The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. While it became one of ZZ Top’s biggest hits, it was not without controversy. In 1992 a lawsuit alleged that the song infringed on the blues rhythm used by John Lee Hooker on his song Boogie Chillen’. To my ear, there appears to be a slight resemblance, but that’s quite common. The case was dismissed by a federal court in 1995.
La Grange is 3.52 minutes in length, of which only the first 1.10 minutes consist of lyrics which are simple, yet beautiful in its own way. I’ll leave the lyrics at the end. The rest of the song contains one of the best and catchiest guitar riffs I have ever heard. Rolling Stone magazine lauded the song as “…a standard for guitarists to show off their chops.” This was high praise indeed for Billy Gibbons on lead guitar and Dusty Hill on bass. it would be a travesty of course to not mention Frank Beard on drums and percussion.
Dusty Hill tragically passed on in 2021, ending a 51-year partnership that produced many other memorable hits by the trio who’s front-men are easily recognizable by their trademark long beard, top-hat and sunglasses.
Lyrics: La Grange
Rumor spreadin’ ’round
In that Texas town
About that shack outside La Grange
And you know what I’m talkin’ about
Just let me know if you wanna go
To that home out on the range
They got a lot of nice girls
Have mercy
A-haw, haw, haw, haw
A-haw, haw, haw, haw
Well, I hear it’s fine
If you got the time
And the ten to get yourself in
A-hmm, hmm
And I hear it’s tight
Most every night
But now I might be mistaken
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Have mercy
lenny unencumbered 